Friday, July 29, 2011

"No Daddy, not new friends...more friends."

Last night Kara prayed, "God, please don't let our friends in Michigan forget about us."  I almost cried.  Then tonight, after spending time with some other kids, I asked Kara if she was excited about making new friends.  She replied, "No, Daddy, not new friends...more friends."

How does a 5 year old think so deeply?

Kara misses her "Michigan" friends dearly.  She talks about them, draws them pictures, and prays for them every night.  She doesn't want to replace those friends.  That's why she refuses to say "new friends."  Instead, she wants to keep the Michigan friends and simply add more friends.

Would you please pray for us as a family that God would provide "more friends" for us.  Our kids need good friends to play with and we need good friends to encourage and be encouraged, sharpen and be sharpened, etc.  Pray that we would also find a good church community to fellowship with.

Monday, July 18, 2011

When Sinners Say "I Do" (part 2)

(continued from the book by Dave Harvey)

"For the sake of our marriages we must see ourselves in the shoes of the 10,000-talent debtor. The appreciation of a massive debt forgiven (our sin against a holy God) forms the basis and starting point for our forgiveness of one another's much smaller (by comparison) offenses. Without understanding the depth of our sin against God and the riches of his forgiveness toward us, we will never be able to forgive others" (p104).


When is the last time you specifically confessed sin to your spouse and humbly sought forgiveness? When is the last time you granted full forgiveness to your repentant spouse?

But what if our spouse never admits their sin? How do I address sin in my spouse?

We must rebuke sin in our spouse like a careful surgeon: with wisdom, courage and meekness (p121).

Wisdom - Proverbs 2:1-6, treasure my commands within you, so that you incline your ear to wisdom, and apply your heart to understanding; Yes, if you cry out for discernment, and lift up your voice for understanding, if you seek her as silver, and search for her as for hidden treasures; Then you will understand the fear of the LORD, and find the knowledge of God. For the LORD gives wisdom.

Courage - II Corinthians 7:8-10, For even if I made you sorry with my letter, I do not regret it; though I did regret it. For I perceive that the same epistle made you sorry, though only for a while. Now I rejoice, not that you were made sorry, but that your sorrow led to repentance. For you were made sorry in a godly manner, that you might suffer loss from us in nothing. For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death.

Meekness - Proverbs 15:1, a soft answer turns away wrath. Proverbs 15:4, a gentle tongue is a tree of life.

"Our temptation is to believe that the way to a good Christian marriage is right teaching, right action, working harder, repenting more, and feeling different. Sure these are crucial, but they are not GRACE" (p138).

Titus 2:11-14, For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age, looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people, zealous for good works.

Grace is the Spirit-power to renounce sin AND to grow in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (p142). Not only do we need to grow in grace personally, we also need to preach grace to our spouse. When our spouse is discouraged, when our spouse is battling temptation, we must strengthen them with grace, remind them of the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ!

That same gospel is also good news for sex. The gospel of Jesus Christ transforms our view of sex from selfishness, bitterness, and laziness to focus on getting our delight by being a delight (p160).

Finally, the gospel of grace prepares us to endure the sickness and death of a spouse.

"Every marriage has its final moment. Usually death visits one spouse, grief the other. If the gospel has been treasured within the marriage, both spouses will be prepared" (p176).

I Thessalonians 4:13, I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope.

"When we gaze upon the cross, we begin to see the early light of a glorious day. Your marriage now, my marriage now, prepares us for that day. Marriage exists to point us and others to that day. What day is that? It's the Marriage Supper of the Lamb. Our marriages here are an imperfect picture of what we are looking forward to enjoying in eternal relationship with our Savior" (p183).

Saturday, July 16, 2011

When Sinners Say "I Do"

When Sinners Say "I Do" - Discovering the Power of the Gospel for Marriage by Dave Harvey (Shepherd Press, 2007)

A refreshingly different approach to marriage: gospel-driven, sin-hating, Jesus-loving, mercy-saturated, God-glorifying!

Here's the core truth of the book: "What we believe about God determines the quality of our marriage" (p20).  Think about it, if we believe God is distant, cold, and unemotional, how will that affect our marriage?  If we believe God is mean, angry, and vengeful, how will that affect our marriage?  But if we trust with all our hearts that God is merciful, holy, compassionate, pure, and forgiving, how should that affect our relationship with our spouse?

I Timothy 1:15-16, Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners-- of whom I am the worst.  But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.

"The big deal is that my sin is not first against me or my marriage.  All sin is first against God ... Once I know that I am indeed the worst of sinners, then my spouse is no longer my biggest problem: I am.  And when I find myself walking in the shoes of the worst of sinners, I will make every effort to grant my spouse the same lavish grace that God has granted me" (p41).

We are at war with sin but there is hope, massive hope in Jesus.  No matter how devastating sin has been in your marriage, no matter how long you have been enslaved to sin, no matter how deep and painful sin has hurt you and your marriage, there is hope.

Romans 8:1-2, Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.

"What does this mean for us in our battle with the flesh?  It means that no matter how defeated we feel in battle, we are overcomers because of two amazing expressions of the grace of God.  We stand forgiven in God's court because of the atoning sacrifice of Christ - God no longer views us in relationship to our sin.  And we are welcomed as righteous in God's house because of the imputed righteousness of Christ!" (p57)

Then the author gives practical wisdom for resolving conflict.  In every marriage conflict/disagreement/miscommunication/argument:

1. In humility, suspect yourself first.  Jeremiah 17:9, The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked.
2. In integrity, inspect yourself.  Matthew 7:5, Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye.
3. Admit that circumstances only reveal existing sin.  Luke 6:45, A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.
4. Focus on undeserved grace, not unmet needs.  James 4:1, Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members?  Ephesians 1:7, In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace.

Then the author tackles the difficult reality of differences in marriage.  How do we overcome divisive, irreconcilable differences and weaknesses in marriage?  MERCY.

Luke 6:36, Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful.

Mercy is God's undeserved, unmerited kindness, patience, compassion, and forgiveness toward us.  "Sweet marriages are built on mercy dispensed."  "Mercy doesn't change the need to speak truth.  It transforms our motivation from a desire to win battles to a desire to represent Christ.  It takes me out of the center and puts Christ in the center.  This requires mercy" (p82).

Mercy is the Spirit-filled power to demonstrate kindness even when you think you will be sinned against tomorrow.  It's the desire to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger.  It's the power to cover sin in love.
{At this point I appreciate how the author takes time to address unique situations like abuse, where the most merciful act is to separate and find help.}

Mercy is also ready to grant forgiveness with no strings attached.

Matthew 18:23-35, Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded. His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.' But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened. Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.

"For the sake of our marriages we must see ourselves in the shoes of the 10,000-talent debtor.  The appreciation of a massive debt forgiven (our sin against a holy God) forms the basis and starting point for our forgiveness of one another's much smaller (by comparison) offenses.  Without understanding the depth of our sin against God and the riches of his forgiveness toward us, we will never be able to forgive others" (p104).

Stay tuned for the rest of the book....

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Daddy's big school

Here we are at "Daddy's big school" as Luke likes to say.  Actually it is a mouthful: the Graduate Institute of Applied Linguistics.  I will be studying...
Principles of Articulatory and Acoustic Phonetics
Grammatical Analysis
Phonological Analysis
Cultural Anthropology
Discourse Analysis
Semantics and Pragmatics
Theory and Practice of Translation

Sounds so fun!!!  I can't wait!

Sunday, July 3, 2011

75% in Dallas

As we settle into our new home in Dallas, Texas, God has provided 75% of our necessary monthly financial support.

Thank you to those who have joined our team as prayer and financial partners.

If you'd like to join the team, please click "Join us!" on the sidebar.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Livin' on ice cream and miracles

So we're driving to Texas and we stop in Joliet, Illinois for gas, potty, and food.  Dairy Queen was closest to the interstate so they won our business.  Little did I know...Dairy Queen began in 1940...in Joliet, Illinois.  We were part of something bigger than ourselves, part of something historic.  It felt good.  So we celebrated with kiddie sundaes.

However, don't be fooled, our journey was not all ice cream sundaes.

Before we left on our trip, my father-in-law drove me to the car rental place.  He drove away in the rental minivan and I went to start his vehicle.....nothing.  His starter went out.  I was stranded.  This was not part of the plan.  My father-in-law had to drive back to the place and deal with his car while I started packing the two minivans (ours and the rental).

After careful, strategic, jigsaw-puzzle packing, we were on the road {4 hours later than planned}.  We stopped in Streator, IL to visit grandparents and then continued to St. Louis, MO to visit friends and spend the night in a hotel.  It was getting late....very, very late.  And I was getting sleepy...very, very sleepy.  Jeannette was trying so hard to keep me awake with probing questions like, "what's your favorite Jr Hi memory?"  Finally we navigated to the hotel at 2:00am and I stumbled out of the car to check-in.  I was shocked to discover...

MIRACLE #1  Our tire was completely flat.  Why is that a miracle, you say?  God protected us for 8 hours on the road.  God sustained our tires through the barren cornfields of Illinois and the tangled highways of St. Louis.  God sovereignly brought us to our hotel parking lot before the tire went flat.  (and then God graciously provided a good friend to fix the tire for free)


MIRACLE #2  We had been exposed to poison ivy and the stomach pukes but God has sovereignly, graciously spared us and protected us.

While in St. Louis, we enjoyed the beautiful architecture of Union Station and The Arch...
and then our friends treated us to world famous Ted Drewes Frozen Custard.

MIRACLE #3  The in-laws had a problem with the rental minivan and were forced to stop at a "random" service station.  The mechanics were very helpful and informed the in-laws that the problem was no real danger and they didn't charge for their time!

MIRACLE #4  We made it to Dallas, Texas and spent the night in our new home.  Thank you Gracious-Father, Sovereign-Protector, Powerful-Provider.