If it hurts, it isn't love

So I was browsing through the local library the other day and I discovered the "religious" section.....one shelf.  I noticed several self-help, I-am-my-own-best-friend type novels and then my eye caught this title: If it Hurts, It Isn't Love.

Curious.

My first reaction to a new book is to flip it over and read the bio of the author.  I want to know if he or she is credible or not.  The author is Chuck Spezzano and he is a PhD (in what??) who leads seminars and workshops.  Oh yeah, and he lives in Hawaii.

MmmmHmmmmm.

After skimming the introduction and a couple chapters, I found this passage:

If it hurts, it is not love.  Only our needs hurt; only not getting what we want hurts.  Love cannot hurt, because it is a feeling of contact that brings joy.  When we do not get our needs met, it hurts. (204)

Really?

But what about John 11.

Now a certain man was ill, Lazarus of Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha.  It was Mary who anointed the Lord with ointment and wiped his feet with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was ill.  So the sisters sent to him, saying, "Lord, he whom you love is ill."  But when Jesus heard it he said, "This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it."  Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. Therefore, when he heard that Lazarus was ill, he stayed two days longer in the place where he was.

Ouch!  That hurts!  Mary and Martha cry out to Jesus but Jesus lingers.  Jesus' good friend Lazarus is sick and dying but Jesus stands still.  Ouch!  But look...Jesus loved Mary and Martha and Lazarus.  Notice the progression: Jesus loved his friends, therefore he waited.  It was an act of love.

How?  Jesus waited until Lazarus was dead for four days.  That way, when Jesus raised him up it would be undeniable that Jesus was sovereign, all-powerful, wise, good, loving GOD.  Therefore, the waiting caused his glory to shine even brighter.  The waiting caused his power to be seen even clearer.  The waiting caused Mary and Martha and the disciples to trust Jesus even more deeply and treasure him more supremely.

That's LOVE!

The Raising of Lazarus 1310 Duccio di Buoninsegna

John Piper has said, "love does not mean making much of us or making life easy. It means making us able to enjoy making much of him forever—no matter what it costs." (Don't Waste Your Life)

Or consider Paul. (II Cor 12)

a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Ouch!  That hurts!  Paul was in pain: physically, emotionally, spiritually.  But Jesus refuses to remove the pain.  Because Paul's weakness caused him to trust Jesus even more deeply and treasure Jesus more supremely.

That's LOVE!

Finally, what about Romans 5:8, "God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."  Ouch!  That hurts!  The most horrific, painful, agonizing torture was an expression and result of love.  The only way for us to be able to enjoy making much of God was for God to remove our bent toward self-worship and self-destruction.  This is what he accomplished when Jesus took our sin and died.  And now that Jesus is the Risen King we can be forgiven of our sins, we have no fear of death, and we are free to worship Jesus and delight in Jesus and pursue Jesus.

That's LOVE!
I pray that Dr. Spezzano will be stunned by the magnitude of Christ's painful, life-giving love for him and that he will surrender to Jesus as Rescuer, King and Treasure.