The horrible night and the love of Jesus

One of the hardest trials we face here in Tanzania is having sick children. Most recently it was Jenna (4 years old) and Ellie (6 years old).

It started on a Monday evening. Jenna spiked a high fever and started vomiting and having diarrhea. We put her on the guest bed but there was no mosquito net on it. We put one up quickly but it was too late. The mosquitos were already swarming. As we were praying for Jenna and battling fear and trusting God's wisdom and swatting mosquitos it felt like we were "wrestling against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places" (Ephesians 6:12). Jeannette and I took turns sitting on the bed with Jenna. We were on high alert because Jenna's symptoms were uncontrollable and we had to be hunting mosquitos. While one of us was sitting with Jenna, the other would lay down on the other bed and try to rest. At one point, Jenna's fever was so high she started hallucinating and speaking nonsense. We wrapped her in cold, wet towels to cool her off. We just cried out a simple, desperate prayer, "Jesus help!"

In the middle of the night Ellie started having symptoms.

Finally it was dawn but the symptoms kept coming. It was difficult keeping up with both of them. They couldn't keep medicine in and the fevers stayed high and they were dehydrating quickly. Our wonderful nurse friend came over and helped us get some medicine in them. Eventually they calmed down enough to start keeping sips of water and medicine to bring the fevers down.

Luke and Kara did so well that day. They were confined to their room or outside but they played well together. At various points we prayed with them for Jenna and Ellie because we want them to know that when they are scared or confused they can pray. Or when loved ones are sick they can pray. Or when they're sad they can pray. And our heavenly Father always listens.

Slowly, throughout the next day Ellie started to improve. Her symptoms slowed and she started keeping fluids. But Jenna didn't improve. In fact she got worse. We kept praying that desperate prayer, "Jesus help!"

Finally, on Friday, we decided it was time for the worst-case scenario: take Jenna to the local clinic. She desperately needed intravenous fluids. Thankfully, our nurse friend was willing to go with Jeannette and Jenna to the clinic. The plan was to have the clinic start the IV of rehydration fluid and then they would come home and finish it at home. But getting the IV started was traumatic for both baby and mama. At one point, it was taking so long and going so badly that Jeannette felt like crying so she started singing our "Trust in the Lord" song. It's based on Proverbs 3:5-6,

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

Finally the tube was in and they were able to leave. They came back home and we hung the IV bag in the living room and put Jenna on the couch. It was encouraging to see Jenna start perking up as she received the fluids.

When we were all home together again, we practiced our memory verses (we're memorizing 1 John 4:7-21). 1 John 4:16,

So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.

We can KNOW and BELIEVE the love that God has for us….even when Jenna is at the clinic, even when Ellie and Jenna are terribly sick, even when Mommy and Daddy are exhausted, even when we're far away from reliable medical care.

God is love….especially when we are confused, especially when we're tempted to fear, especially when we cry out to him, especially when we are sick and hurting.

God's love for us in that trial was not shown in taking away the sickness immediately. It was not shown in giving us a reliable doctor and hospital. It was not shown in God answering our prayers exactly the way WE wanted. Instead, God's love for us in that trial was shown in that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him (v9). We have new life in Jesus. We have eternal life in Jesus. We have abundant life in Jesus. God's love for us in that trial was shown in that God sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins (v10). We are forgiven in Jesus. Our guilt has been removed in Jesus. We are in right relationship with God because of Jesus. God's love for us in that trial was show in that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world (v14). Jesus saves us from God's wrath. Jesus saves us from the kingdom of darkness. Jesus saves us for himself. God's love for us in that trial was shown in that God abides in us and we abide in God (v15). We have the Holy Spirit of God living in us. We have been united to Jesus. We have an intimate relationship with our Father.
That's love!

On Saturday, we practiced our memory verses again (1 John 4:7-21). It struck us when John says,

Whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. 

So when our nurse friend loved us so much she gave up her whole day to enter our sick house and care for our family and take Jenna to the clinic and help hook up the IV, we see evidence that she abides in God and God abides in her. And when the ladies Bible study group loved us so much they prayed for us, we see evidence that they abide in God and God abides in them. And when people love us so much they bring us meals and offer to watch our kids and help find us medicine, we see evidence that they abide in God and God abides in them.

That night, as we went to bed, we read Isaiah 43 and Psalm 18 and Psalm 27.

Isaiah 43:1-5

But now thus says the LORD, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you, I give men in return for you, peoples in exchange for your life. Fear not, for I am with you."

Psalm 18

I love you, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised. In my distress I called upon the LORD; to my God I cried for help. From his temple he heard my voice, and my cry to him reached his ears. This God—his way is perfect; the word of the LORD proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him. For this I will praise you, O LORD, among the nations, and sing to your name.

Psalm 27

The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

On Sunday we were able to enjoy our family worship time together. For the rest of the day we worked hard keeping the girls hydrated. We even made a cute sticker chart to reward them for reaching their water goals. Before bed we read Psalm 108,

My heart is steadfast, O God! I will sing and make melody with all my being! Awake, O harp and lyre! I will awake the dawn! I will give thanks to you, O LORD, among the peoples; I will sing praises to you among the nations. For your steadfast love is great above the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the clouds. Be exalted, O God, above the heavens! Let your glory be over all the earth! That your beloved ones may be delivered, give salvation by your right hand and answer me!

On Monday we finally felt like we could see the light again. Ellie and Jenna were both getting stronger, eating and drinking, playing and giggling. We even heard Ellie singing in the bathroom. That's a good sign!

Through that whole trial, it was tempting to give in to fear, despair, hopelessness, anger, impatience. It felt like warfare every single day. And to be honest, by the end our endurance was wearing thin. But in his infinite grace God strengthened us to endure. The Holy Spirit filled us with hope. Romans 15:13,

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

The Holy Spirit helped us fix our eyes on Jesus. Hebrews 12:1-2,

Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith.

Another spiritual victory that week was that somehow I was able to meet with the Jita translation team and we checked the whole book of Titus…in one day!

Ephesians 3:20-21,

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

That week taught us a lot about Jesus and prayer and trials and Jesus' love for us. We were reminded of the narrative of Lazarus in John 11. It's beautiful. You should read John 11:1-45.

Jesus' beloved friend Lazarus was sick. His sisters Mary and Martha sent word to Jesus, "Lord, he whom you love is ill." That's it. No demands on Jesus. No manipulation. Not even a request. Just a simple, desperate need. It reminds us of 1 Peter 5:6-7,

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

Jesus, the all-knowing, all-powerful, God-man, explained that Lazarus' illness was for the purpose of revealing God's glory and revealing the Son's glory. Somehow God will be glorified through our trials. Even if we can't see it or don't know when or how, God has a plan to bring glory to himself.

John wants to emphasize that Jesus loved this family. Jesus has a close relationship with this family. These are Jesus' friends. And this is key to understanding verse 6, "So, when he heard that Lazarus was ill, he stayed two days longer in the place where he was." What!?! How could Jesus just sit there? Why didn't Jesus immediately jump up and run to his friends' side? Because Jesus loved this family. Love means joyfully giving what is best for another person even at great cost to self. Jesus loved Mary and Martha and Lazarus. So he waited. Jesus wanted to give what was best to this family. And what was best was not quick healing. What was best was not what they expected. Jesus had a plan to do something even greater to reveal his glory.

But it's hard to wait. We need Spirit-empowered courage to wait well. Psalm 27:14,

Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!

Finally, Jesus says it's time to go. "Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep, but I go to awaken him." Jesus knows what he will do. Jesus has a plan and he is perfectly in control of his plan.

His disciples don't get it so Jesus says plainly, "Lazarus has died, and for your sake I am glad that I was not there, so that you may believe." What!?! How dare he say that! How ruthless and cold! No, it's loving. Jesus loves this family so much, he wants what is best for them. And what is best for them is that they believe in Jesus. Jesus wants to strengthen their faith. He has a plan to reveal his glory so that they trust him more than ever before.

When Martha sees Jesus she cries out with words of grief and faith, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know that whatever you ask from God, God will give you." She's sad and hurting but she still trusts Jesus. Again look at her humble surrender, "whatever you ask from God." She makes no demands, no manipulation, just simple, desperate faith. She believes that Jesus can help. She doesn't know how, she doesn't know when, but she knows Jesus can help. So she runs to Jesus.

It reminds us of Hebrews 4:14-16,

Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Jesus offers words of comfort, knowing what he is about to do, "Your brother will rise again." But Martha thought, yes of course he’ll rise again at the last day. How does that help me right now?

Jesus then declares the earth-shaking, worldview-shattering words, "I AM the resurrection and the life." Martha was waiting for an event in the future but Jesus says "It's me, right here, right now." Jesus is the one who gives spiritual rebirth and spiritual life. Jesus is the one who will die physically and rise again physically. Jesus is the one who gives eternal life now. Jesus is the one who will resurrect our bodies to be with him forever.

John 17:3,

This is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.

John 5:28-29,

Do not marvel at this, for an hour is coming when all who are in the tombs will hear his voice and come out, those who have done good to the resurrection of life, and those who have done evil to the resurrection of judgment.

Jesus is the resurrection and the life. He is our only hope for this life and the life to come.

So when we were praying for Ellie and Jenna, we prayed in faith, trusting God's promises and God's character. And we waited. We believed that Jesus loves us, that Jesus loves Ellie and Jenna, that Jesus will reveal his glory through this trial, that Jesus will strengthen our faith, that Jesus is our only hope, that Jesus has a good plan, that Jesus is in control of his plan, that Jesus will answer our prayers in his way and in his time, and that nothing can separate us from the love of Jesus.

Romans 8:35,

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?...For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

We are thanking God that he has healed Ellie and Jenna and that they are playing and laughing and singing like normal. Sadly, when Ellie and Jenna were healed, Kara became sick with malaria. So we started the whole process over again. And out of his infinite love and grace, Jesus healed Kara.

We're so thankful that Jesus is with us.